just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
