so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have feelings that need drinking.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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