I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
