On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
