a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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