why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
