I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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