I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Barsexuality is the new black.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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