Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need a beard to bite.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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