i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
