also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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