I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
