Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
