why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
