Will you blow on my dice?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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