I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
