i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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