that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Randomize
