What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
