Kiss
Puke
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize