So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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