i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
