i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
