whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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