why didn't you poke me back
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You pole danced in your parka.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
