Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
