Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
