Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
one might say we're banned from that church
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
