Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
