This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
