Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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