apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
