dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
