Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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