Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
