You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
