3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
