you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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