just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
