honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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