my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
