how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
