he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
