I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
