My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
