He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
