This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
