so explain again why im purple
no
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Randomize
