I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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