Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize