So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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