It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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