Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
