just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
