i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
