If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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